So hard.



So hard

You were so hard.
Soooo hard.
All I could do was squirm and refocus.
Licking, milking, enticing, devouring
To savour
Eyes closed
I try so hard to keep them open.
To watch it all.
To drink you in, from every possible place
But they close
Alas they close….
Without sight to distract me,
I am locked on to your taste.
My taste.
Our taste.
My tongue is relentless in investigation
My mouth moves so slowly
I can feel every pulse
My hand ignites as you throb in my grip
An electric pulse
That motivates me like nothing else
I am so conflicted in my ecstasy
In a cock worship frenzy
My pussy is on fire
I wiggle about
I lower myself underneath you
Tongue extended
Now watching
As I lick
I massage you with my lips
Wrapped full around my beautiful cock
I am merely preparing you
Prepping the beast
I rise from the floor, quivering.
Our lips meet for a moment…
Instinctively you lower yourself to the sofa and order me to mount
There is nothing like that moment
When you slide inside me
Skin taught
Eyes locked
We do not miss a beat. The rhythm finds us quickly while our mouths attack. In this moment, i cannot fuck you hard enough, fast enough, violently enough… to demonstrate my desire.
My arms lock atop your shoulders pulling me into your body,
my nipples at your mercy
I ride myself
Into a blackout
Of pleasure.

The Struggle (Play) is Real


**Warning: This post has bothered a few readers (although likely, it’s one 2 a.m. reader with 4 aliases)… We thought that putting the words “struggle play” right into the title might tip people off that such activities may be discussed. This is an explicit warning that this post contains discussion of fantasy around violence and struggle play** If you choose to read it, choose to enjoy it xo


Ever since I was a little girl, I have been consumed with both struggle and abduction fantasies. I call them fantasies now because that’s what they are, but when I was a child I certainly didn’t see them that way. I disturbed myself with my penchant for thinking about such scenarios. Escape from attack/confinement/fire have been very strong themes, and the fact they have been with me for so long isn’t something I share freely. I know this immediately starts to trigger theories (and fears) in others, some of which are justified and very valid.

Let’s just say I have several different sexual identities. Personae. I love the one I’m currently living with. It stands close to the invisible line between the person who desperately needed to connect all the sexual dots and make sense out of every fantasy and kink, and lines up all the experiences that created them. That person was inquisitive and open hearted, but her sexuality suffered, immensely at times. She lived a hetero-monogamous lie.  On the other side of that line is me, now. Several years ago I stepped across the invisible moat, to the place where I am present, living in my body now, and indulging my fantasies rather than dissecting them. The reasons don’t matter so much now. The reason they don’t matter is that I understand I have them and my reasoning for why might change on any given day, but the fantasies remain regardless. Some fantasies are truly meant to linger in our imaginations, but a fantasy that persists for over 30 years just might be asking to be acknowledged rather than denied away by reasoning.

I’ve been blessed with several great loves and great lovers in my life.  One such lover was a man who was physically shorter and lighter than myself. And while I am a fairly solid woman with more strength than I show, he was the epitome of “freakishly strong” for a man his size. I discovered that this turned me on wildly. What evolved into frequent bouts of wrestling and pinning, started out innocently enough. He was armed with some skill in judo and Greco-Roman wrestling. I was armed with a great love of show wrestling and a lifetime of backyard and living room wrestling with my older brother: my first opponent in life. Between the two of us, I was the first to master the figure four leg lock. It was 1984 and Greg “The Hammer” Valentine was warring with Tito Santana and popularizing the figure four leg lock all at once. It was the moment I realized that the size of my opponent did not predict the outcome of the fight, and that an opponent’s size could be used against them. My brother wasn’t as limber as I was; his legs were long and awkward at 14 years old. I could slide into the move before he could even consider trying it on me. I used it often, adding extra threat near the precious jewels with my toes.

As a woman in her late 30’s whose boyfriend suddenly flips her over and pins her by the wrists and dares her to try and get up- as that woman, something lit up inside me like a fourth of July firecracker and the dark corners started to stir, once again. We wrestled often. Most often, in a non-sexual way, even in front of the kids, who also were taught how to escape certain maneuvers and certainly never saw anything sexual about our play. Because despite the undertones, it wasn’t sexual. His thought patterns and fears of appearing abusive could not allow him to cross the two. And we enjoyed it immensely without a sexual element….but a few childless weekends at home in the afternoon, wrestling on the floor, I wished he would kiss me right there in the middle of the struggle. If I could’ve successfully pinned him down, it’s what I would’ve done. Instead we would begin this way… wrestling, sitting close, and then shortly after, we would go and have sex. I was delighted with that.

The struggle play theme has been back for about 2 years now. Two years ago I explored )but did not act on) this with an online associate, whom I had met and had a sexual dynamic with. Our scenario was significantly more risky and involved genres of play not related to the more generic “struggle play”. We had a very detailed and specific role play, (which, again, we did not enact). I think that he was terrified that he had found a stranger who   

  1. he was able to share the scenario with (amongst other secrets)
  2. b) was familiar with, and willing to engage, the same scenario.

He backed down immediately. I happily dove into sport fucking.

Flash forward to today. The perfect storm is brewing all around me. The man in my life happens to trigger a very rare willingness to engage in a powerplay where I’m not always winning, whether sexually or otherwise. He rules my loins with a quiet power. He rattles me in unfamiliar ways. He is absent yet ever-present. He is the unreal person I’ve frequently sought. Available but unavailable. Mine, but not mine. He embraces my desire to take ownership of his cock, to rule it, adore it, and occasionally, share it. He can trigger a girly grin with a single line text. Silently, Alpha. This man, I want to wrestle.

One of our amazing dates took place in an elegant hotel room, close to my home. He had travelled several hours and we had both moved heaven and earth to grab approximately three hours together. It would turn out to be a truly intimate affair, as most of our dates are, regardless of environment. It was exactly what we always do. It was deep kissing and fucking and exploring and spanking and…on and on…but there was this one moment:  I had raised both wrists back over my head as though reaching for the headboard (which wasn’t there) and he put his hands down over mine and pushed himself up, hovering over top of me. I could feel his full weight travelling through my wrists and directly down to my pussy. I was fully alive with the need to be fucked immediately. If we had known each other more intimately at that time, I would’ve fought him right there.

Having recently limited my availability to playmates, in lieu of spending time with my important lovers, I found myself with a willingness to go deeper with my partners. That is true with the sexy couple that drives me wild. That is very true with my girlfriend (Gypsy),  and also incredibly true with the gent who drives me a little wild.

One day I just sent him a text and asked. “I would like to know how you feel about grappling. I would like to do it with you”. I waited…..

Finally he replied “I’m in”.

So I sit here lingering in perhaps the greatest part of any fantasy, the moment when you decide to act on it, but you haven’t yet… are swimming with all the possibilities. Aroused again and again with combinations, and curiosity. It is officially on the agenda. This is happening.


Of course this ruins my focus for writing, working and general function. I am pinned under the memory of being pinned beneath him for a brief moment before begging to be fucked hard and fast.  I lust after the feeling of surrender that comes when you realize you cannot win, and you don’t want to. It’s a hard spot for me to reach. Surrender, for me, does not come easily, and often not without a price. 

He had ripped that surrender from me on our very first date. We had sought a private place at a party, once we finally began to kiss, we attacked each other with lustful abandon. I had straddled his lap in an effort to slow us down. We kissed, and slowly his cock literally reached for me. He was instantly hard and throbbing against me. My pussy took control of all decisions at that moment,  I leapt on top of him unapologetically. I had ridden him to an explosion of wetness that was both sexy and shocking. Our lips always connected, electric. Seconds later I threw myself onto the mattress on the floor face down, ass exposed, and begged him to fuck me.

When it comes to surrender, I don’t stand a chance. Quietly, coyly, he owns me.


We have made no plans around initiation. No details discussed-but it will make for great bedroom talk. When the moment presents, I will know. I’m twitching just thinking about it. I feel like I could explode at any second.


I’m pretty sure he’ll kick my ass.

At least I’m hoping 😉









When you have waited, with clenched pussy for 24 days. When sleepless nights have caught you in the endless loop of remembering, reliving, and then relenting to the pull of your very own fingers. When you have spent the last week abstaining from orgasm, even self-induced. When all of that gathers, deep down in tight places…you take a deep breath and clear your mind. Butterflies linger and flutter about in your stomach as you wait. Every second feels like forever….

#                #               #                  #

I pull nervously at my hair as I stare at the floor. Seconds tick by as I shift nervously from foot to foot. When it feels like an eternity has passed, I raise my eyes to check his progress. I can see the elevator rising slowly towards me. In an instant, the doors spring open.
Each time I see him his smile seems to have magically grown sexier than the last. Perfect white teeth framed by juicy lips that I want to devour instantly. Deep, dark eyes stare back at me and we both smile nervously. I take him by the hand and lead him down the hall to our room, careful to avoid eye contact with the revellers in the hall. Without a word we have both devised the same plan – get safely and quickly behind the cover of the hotel room door. We will not wait a moment longer to touch. The door swings shut with a thump as he drops his bag on the floor. Our eyes meet each other with intensity.

We start to kiss,furiously at first. His strong hands frame my face and I am helpless with a single gesture. We dive into each other with tongues searching, hands reaching….I feel the hard surface of the desk hit the back of my legs and without skipping a beat he scoops me up and slides my bum onto the edge of the desk. As he presses in to me I can feel his hard cock begging for release. I wrap my legs around his waist, pulling him hard into me. The wait for his cock is instantly unbearable. My pussy starts to swell and drip with anticipation before a single article of clothing has been removed. My hand slides up his back and neck until my fingers are locked in his hair. I bring my lips to his ear….I remember all the slow sexy maneuvers I had planned for him, the long slow tease-but in this moment I am without choice. I surrender.
“Please fuck me. Please, Lover”.
Without hesitation he lifts me gently from the desk. His hands find the waist of my pants and he slides them down and over my hips. Standing there, with only my panties on I am raw, aroused, out of control. Instinctively I lean back onto the desk and throw my legs around him. I am suddenly furious at what separates me from this moment. I rip at the buckle on his belt and in an instant his jeans are at his ankles. My panties are soaked and the anticipation verges on painful…He looks deep into my eyes as I begin to lower his briefs….his gorgeous cock springs out of confinement. His fingers fly to my panties and with a single motion he pulls them to the side, grabs me by the waist and pulls me hard onto his cock. I gasp and moan as I release a puddle of pleasure all over the floor of our hotel room. I wish to hang in this moment forever. My legs find their place wrapped firmly around him. I am locked on, as I claim my cock. We kiss each with such ferocity that a low growl escapes my hungry mouth. I force the fury of my passion into him through the end of my tongue as I slide back and forth on his cock.
All of those nights alone in bed, trying to recapture the intensity of him inside me, swimming in glorious sense memory, cannot come close to this real moment. My desire to be pinned beneath his weight starts to pull at me like a petulant child. I wrap my arms around his neck and I whisper in is ear
“please take me to the bed”
He obliges by spinning me around and tossing me onto the bed. I land on my back and catch full view of him, standing tall and naked at the end of the bed. The light dances across his torso highlighting every detail of his sexy body. I tremble as I watch him approach me. I long for the feel of his power and masculinity. I cannot wait to be overpowered by him. He slides onto the bed and slowly takes my wrists one by one, placing them over my head. He lowers his body over mine and I can feel his cock gently rub against my inner thigh. My head reaches forward hopefully, in search of his mouth. As he sucks at my bottom lip his cock suddenly fills me and I soak the bed, my hips rising into him with force. I moan involuntarily as he slowly fucks me into a frenzy. My thighs wrap around him and suddenly he grabs my ankles and raises them towards the ceiling so that he can place a firm spanking across my bottom before releasing them. I am caught in an endless orgasm and swimming in my own juices. I prop myself onto my elbows so that I can indulge my favourite sight. His cock slides freely in and out of my pussy as I whimper with delight. In an instant, a rush of fluids splash across his chest and legs.
The sight of his dripping cock leaves me ravenous to taste his rewards. I push him back and drop down in front of him on my stomach, face down, ass up. I take his cock into my mouth and begin stroking the sides of his shaft with my lips. I can still taste my glorious orgasm all over him. I slowly take his cock deep into my mouth and then, into the back of my throat. I raise my eyes to meet his gaze. In this moment I am desperate to please him with my mouth, as his cock fills every inch of it. The strength of his energy excites me as he raises a hand over his head and then brings it down hard across my ass. I squirt instantly as my body starts to spasm. I begin to take long deep strokes with my mouth and he is rock hard. I squirm with delight as I enjoy the sweet taste of his precum. I am consumed with my desire to devour his cock, and at the same time I long to have him inside me, where he belongs. I slowly rise and motion him to lay back on the bed. I crawl on top of him like an enthusiastic cowgirl and slide him inside me. My muscles grab at his cock like a vice, frantic to keep him there forever, and I ride him, gently at first. He meets my rhythm and slowly lifts himself into a sit as I wrap myself around him. With every grind my juices splash across his body and back onto mine. Our bodies play a symphony of moist slapping and frantic grinding. He slips a hand up my back and catches my hair at the base of my neck. He gives a firm pull as he guides my mouth to his. With lips and legs locked in a frenzied embrace, we ride the wave of pleasure until I am gasping with exhaustion. I fall into his arms as orgasms take me repeatedly…unrelenting. For a moment I just linger, pressed up against him. As my pussy throbs and clenches him tight.
I know what comes next. Only one thing will satisfy me now, and I will beg if I must.
“I need your cum…Please.” I whisper. He orders me onto my stomach and I oblige him immediately. My hips sway gently back and forth as I tease him with my ass, begging him to enter me.
“Take me”, I plead insistently.
He places a firm hand on the back of my neck, and just enough pressure to bring me to instant excitement. I arch my back, inviting him in. His cock slams into me as his hand forces my face into the pillow and I let out a loud moan. I can feel his cock start to throb as the intensity of his thrust quickens. “Yes baby! Yes!” His hand comes down hard across my ass and the sting drives me wild with pleasure. I want to see his face and watch him cum. I want to taste him. I want it all. I push myself out from under him as I flip onto my back to face him. My hands fly to my nipples, and I am dripping as I wait. He slams into me again and I know it’s close. We stare deep into each others eyes as the first wave of ecstasy hits and a warm stream fills my pussy like a blanket. In one motion I slide out from under him and force his cock into my mouth as he continues to cum. He has been saving this load for me and I relish every drop. He lets out a moan as his body begins to jerk uncontrollably. His cum is my greatest reward and I swallow it like it is liquid gold. He collapses beside me and I gush with pride as I curl into his embrace.
We have only 12 hours together.
11 more to go……

Fisting! A Guest Blog….

Posted by Minx:

I have had fisting on the brain these days. In a recent online discussion, a sexy friend shared an awesome piece of writing about her early adventures with fisting. Without further ado…I am thrilled to open the floor to a fierce sexy guest writer,Gem.

The following is reproduced with permission from her blog – originally posted more than two years ago:

A tribute to my first Big O on a Big Fist

The anticipation, the overwhelming desire, the impatience… It felt like I’d been waiting a lifetime for this moment (which I suppose is true). Was this really about to happen? Was I about to finally feel the fullness I’d been so longing for?

YES! And YES!! And YES!!!

This is the moment I open myself completely to the will of his hand. I feel it, in its entirety, glide past that final barrier: the bliss of the “pop”. Then my body’s immediate innate reaction…Squeeze. For a moment I lose my limbs. He is in complete control. I am immobilized. “Just feel my fist” he whispers as he holds still inside me. It’s all I can feel. I am yours. He glides the fingers of his other hand up my leg, tickling my thighs as he moves up to my clit. Every muscle in my body relaxes and he knows it immediately without a word spoken by me.

“Good girl”

The only words I need to hear as he slowly begins to move his fist inside me. I feel every twitch, every minor extension of his fingers, every subtle movement from side to side and up and down. My eyes squeeze shut, happy tears begin to fall, and all I can see is white behind the lids. Not darkness… light. I become consumed by the sensations and happily lose the world around me for what feels like a blissful eternity, never wanting to be let free from his hold on me. His voice the only sound I hear and obey.

And then my world changes as the intensity of his movements increases and his voice becomes fierce. Through gritted teeth he praises me for my strength and tells me how sexy this moment is. He makes a fist with his other hand, places it on my abdomen and tells me to hold it as a reminder of how big his hands are. Boom!! I can’t even begin to cover his hand with mine. In that moment I feel miniature and in awe. I find my voice again as my body braces itself for the most intense final moments of the scene…

…the colourful, filthy, sexy, language that pours from my mouth is astounding. Then the enthusiastic praise for the man filling me with his intensity and passion. Then the cursing again. All finally replaced by incoherent growls and moans. Noises I’d never made before. Noises I didn’t know I was capable of making. Uncontrollable, Primal, Euphoric. My orgasm feels like it is going on forever. So long in fact that I begin to feverishly giggle as I exclaim “I’m still coming!!!”

All I can recall from the moments to follow are lying vulnerable, exhausted, and satisfied in his arms as he helps me connect back to my body… again not wanting to be let free from the moment.




The complexity of relationships
Fluid yet absolute
Finding spaces
In lockdown places

Electric skin
Dark and lovely
Pinned above me
Eyes that love me
A touch, I miss endlessly.

And on the other side
Of that crumbling divide
Soft and supple
Her brain a muscle
Heart encased
In the most lovely breasts

Two spaces so separate
With one binding thing
Trust mixed with lust
Surrender or bust.

Formidable Woman


Formidable woman…

She’ll make you quiver
Stand and deliver
Sweep you off your feet
Charm you
Leave you wanting, weak

Formidable woman
She’s everything you seek
Hot sex, forget your ex
A Tigress at her peak

Formidable woman
Her unrelenting gaze
Piercing your soul
Making you whole
Keeping you there for days

Formidable woman
You’ve never felt this real
Rubbing against her
With her kitty temper
And fiery appeal

Formidable woman
She’ll keep you all night
Educate and train you
Comfort and drain you
Then release you to the light

Formidable woman
She’ll send you off good
Hungry and tired
Somewhat inspired

Formidable woman
Prefers shadows
And steep valleys
She lingers in hearts
And back alleys

Formidable woman
A champion to explore
A comfortable whore
She’ll offer no more

Formidable woman
Like a star in the night
Leaves without spite
A warm flicker
A city slicker
Temporary delight